A plane, mid-flight, nearly full. George sits in the aisle seat. Charlie comes back from the bathroom and approaches George.
CHARLIE
Sorry, mate.
George realises he wants to get to his seat, and stands up to let him in. There’s an empty seat between them, as Charlie has the window seat.
GEORGE
No worries.
CHARLIE
It’s my fault. I drank way too much water before getting on. I tend to get dehydrated on planes.
GEORGE
It’s fine, really.
CHARLIE
If you want, we can switch. That way, you don’t have to get up again.
GEORGE
Thanks, but no thanks. Not a fan of the window.
CHARLIE
Oh, really?
GEORGE
I’m not scared of flying or anything like that. In my profession, you can’t be scared of flying. It’s like a motion thing. I get it in the car too. It can make me sick.
Charlie looks at him a little nervously.
GEORGE
Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up. Never have on a flight. Afterwards, however… Well…
CHARLIE
Well it can’t be that much longer.
GEORGE
(Looks at his watch) At least an hour.
CHARLIE
Surely not. We can’t be more than half an hour from Birmingham.
GEORGE
Birmingham?
CHARLIE
Yes?
GEORGE
You mean Manchester?
CHARLIE
No?
GEORGE
What are you talking about? This plane goes to Manchester.
CHARLIE
Are you okay, mate?
GEORGE
Don’t mess with me. I don’t feel very well.
CHARLIE
You’re the one messing around, mate.
GEORGE
Look, I don’t get the joke, okay.
CHARLIE
I’m not joking. This flight is going to Birmingham.
GEORGE
(Laughing) Okay, mate. Whatever you say.
CHARLIE
You’re making me nervous now. Have I got on the right plane?
GEORGE
You didn’t hear the captain say “Manchester”?
CHARLIE
I heard him say “Birmingham”. Very clearly.
GEORGE
Yes, I admit they sound very similar.
CHARLIE
Stop it! I’m being serious.
GEORGE
Okay, okay…
George takes his phone out of his pocket, and brings up his boarding pass.
GEORGE
See! Look! Manchester!
Charlie takes his own phone out and brings up his own boarding pass.
CHARLIE
See! Look! Birmingham!
GEORGE
Well then, you’re clearly on the wrong plane. Not sure how you’ve managed that but I’ll remember it for next time I want to go to Brazil. I’ll just book a cheaper ticket and then sneak on another plane.
CHARLIE
I’m not on the wrong plane. See, look! The departure times are the same.
GEORGE
I don’t know what to tell you, mate. But I made sure I got on the right plane. I’m quite methodical when it comes to stuff like that. And I heard the captain say “Manchester”. I’m absolutely sure.
CHARLIE
But I checked as well, and I’m absolutely…
GEORGE
(Interrupting) Well, I guess we can just ask one of the flight crew, can’t we?
CHARLIE
Fine.
They both look up, and discover the plane cabin is suddenly completely empty except for them.
CHARLIE
What the hell?
Both men stand up and start looking around the empty cabin.
CHARLIE
Where is everyone?
GEORGE
I must’ve fallen asleep in my seat. There’s no way… No way…
CHARLIE
Well if you’re dreaming then how come I’m here?
GEORGE
I mean it’s not uncommon to have others guest-star in dreams, y’know. Happens very often.
CHARLIE
Only about people we know. And you don’t know me.
GEORGE
I might know you. You could’ve served me coffee or sold me a newspaper. I wouldn’t even realise, but I’ve still seen your face.
CHARLIE
Or maybe I’m the one that’s dreaming.
GEORGE
But why would I…
Charlie gives him a sarcastic look.
GEORGE
I see. Fair point.
CHARLIE
So let’s assume both of us are real and neither of us is dreaming. What do we do now?
GEORGE
Well, there must be someone flying the plane. If there wasn’t I’m pretty sure we’d know very quickly.
CHARLIE
You’ve never heard of auto-pilot?
GEORGE
Yes, that doesn’t mean it flies the plane by itself. Otherwise, you wouldn’t need pilots. They’d all be robots.
CHARLIE
I mean, pretty soon they will be. I would know.
GEORGE
What does that mean?
CHARLIE
I work in robotics.
GEORGE
You work in robotics?
CHARLIE
You sound surprised.
GEORGE
No, I just mean…
CHARLIE
Cos you thought I was either a barista or a newsagent, didn’t you?
GEORGE
I didn’t mean it like that.
CHARLIE
It’s fine. Fat lot of good that is now anyway.
Charlie looks out of the window and suddenly his expression changes to one of shock.
CHARLIE
Oh my god.
GEORGE
What?
CHARLIE
Look out the window.
George looks out of the window, and his expression changes too. Outside the window is total whiteness, with no signs of motion.
GEORGE
This can’t be real. None of this can be real.
CHARLIE
Look at it, man. Looks real to me.
GEORGE
No. Someone’s drugged us or something. Mushrooms or LSD or acid or something.
CHARLIE
Technically acid and LSD are the same.
GEORGE
Oh, so you know a lot about that do you?
CHARLIE
Don’t go there.
GEORGE
Well how else do you explain all this?
CHARLIE
Are you religious?
GEORGE
Raised catholic. I’m not practising though.
CHARLIE
You believe in God?
GEORGE
Yes. Sort of. A bit. Why? You think that this is God’s work?
CHARLIE
You ever heard of the rapture?
GEORGE
Of course I have. But don’t be silly, man.
CHARLIE
I mean, everyone on this plane disappeared at the same time, and now…
GEORGE
No, no, no. In those stories about the rapture, all those people’s clothes are left behind. There’s no clothes here. It can’t be.
CHARLIE
Oh, sorry. How stupid of me. The stories we make up about the rapture are a hundred percent accurate. There’s no clothes, so no rapture. Fucking hell man, you know Jesus was a black guy too, right?
GEORGE
This can’t be the bloody rapture! I wouldn’t be here if it was.
CHARLIE
Why? Because you sort of a bit believe in God?
GEORGE
Now stop it! Please, stop it! I can’t take all this. We need to talk to the captain.
CHARLIE
What makes you think the captain didn’t disappear too?
GEORGE
I told you, we cannot just be flying deadstick without a captain. The plane would crash.
CHARLIE
Into what? Look outside, does it look like we’re in the sky?
GEORGE
We must be. Just above the clouds. It’s always white.
CHARLIE
But we’re not even moving. Can’t you feel it? No turbulence or nothing. We’re just sitting here.
GEORGE
The winds must be very calm or something. We’re in a lull. We’ve got to be somewhere.
CHARLIE
Yeah, Birmingham or Manchester right?
GEORGE
Yes, of course. That must have something to do with this. There’s obviously been some kind of mistake.
A voice suddenly sounds over the cabin announcement system.
JD
(VO) Indeed there has.
GEORGE
Aha! I knew there had to be a captain on board. I knew it! There’s no way…
JD
(VO) I’m afraid this is not your captain speaking, gentlemen. Sorry for the confusion.
CHARLIE
Then who are you?
JD
(VO) My name is Mr James Danmar, and I would like to apologise sincerely for what is currently happening.
GEORGE
What is happening exactly? Where are we? Where is this plane going?
JD
(VO) That’s a little complicated, I’m afraid.
CHARLIE
Are you in the cockpit right now?
JD
(VO) I am.
CHARLIE
Then show yourself.
JD
(VO) I’m not sure that’s…
GEORGE
Come out now, or we break down the door!
JD
(VO) Very well.
The cockpit door starts to open. George and Charlie step back and watch as a tall man in a blue suit steps into the cabin, smiling at them.
JD
Gentlemen.
GEORGE
Who the hell are you?
JD
Like I said, my name is James Danmar. Pleasure.
GEORGE
I wouldn’t describe any of this as a pleasure.
JD
No, of course. And for that, you have my deepest apologies.
CHARLIE
So what’s going on?
JD
Well gentlemen, there’s really no easy way to explain this but I’m afraid there’s been a terrible mix up.
GEORGE
What kind of mix up?
JD
Well, I’m sorry to tell you this gentlemen, but I’m afraid this is the end of the line, so to speak.
CHARLIE
Come again?
JD
You’re dead, I’m afraid. Both of you.
GEORGE
What?
CHARLIE
Bollocks.
JD
I assure you it’s true. This isn’t so much a plane as it’s a… well… plane.
CHARLIE
Like a plane of existence?
JD
Precisely. In truth, the mind can’t really comprehend it so it comes up with something like this because it makes more sense.
GEORGE
Dead?
JD
Indeed so. My deepest sympathies, sir. But I’m afraid we’ve made an error.
GEORGE
We weren’t supposed to die?
JD
No, you were. But usually people make the trip alone. For some reason or another, you two have sort of… merged. You’re two souls on one journey, and I’m afraid we can’t have that at all.
CHARLIE
You’re full of shit.
JD
I wish that were the case.
GEORGE
But how did we… die?
CHARLIE
We didn’t. We haven’t! Stop listening to him. This is all some nasty joke.
JD
Mr Mason. Please.
CHARLIE
No, you can shut up! You’ve drugged us or something. All of this is just one enormous pile of shit and I’m gonna sue the shit out of whoever is responsible.
GEORGE
I don’t want to be dead.
JD
I’m sorry, but it’s not all that bad. There is life after death, and I’m here to guide you through it.
CHARLIE
Now stop this!
Charlie moves towards JD, pushing George out of the way.
CHARLIE
Stop this right now or I’ll…
Charlie goes to grab JD by the arm, but can’t. He suddenly looks terrified and slowly backs off.
CHARLIE
No… It can’t be…
JD
Please, gentlemen. You must remain calm. I am here to help you.
GEORGE
So, this is some sort of limbo place? Wherever we are now. It’s like the place in between?
JD
If that helps, then yes.
Charlie sits down, in a state of shock.
CHARLIE
(To himself) I’m dead?
JD
But this was never meant to happen, the two of you being here together. My only guess is that you must’ve passed on at the exact same time, right down to the nano-second. And you both ended up on the same plane.
GEORGE
But we’re both going to the same place, right?
JD
No one really goes to the same place. It’s different for everyone. And therein lies our problem.
GEORGE
Which is?
JD
I’m afraid that only one of you can reach your destination.
GEORGE
(Looking over at Charlie) And what happens to the other one?
JD
They’ll go back. It’s not something we usually arrange but under the circumstances…
GEORGE
And how long will we have before we die again?
JD
I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be of much help with these matters. My job is to get you to decide who gets off, and who stays.
CHARLIE
And who are you, huh? What are you? Some kind of angel? A reaper?
JD
I’m more of a freelancer. People hire me to help in matters such as these.
GEORGE
So you’re not human?
JD
No more than this is an airplane.
CHARLIE
Can we speak to your boss then? We want to speak to someone in authority.
JD
Well I’m sorry, but that won’t be possible. They’re not exactly beings from your dimension. Communication would be impossible.
JD checks his watch.
JD
I’m very sorry, gentlemen. But we don’t have time to argue. Either one of you gets off or neither do, that’s how it’s got to be.
GEORGE
How long do we have to decide?
JD
Five minutes.
CHARLIE
(To George) You believe this guy?
GEORGE
Does it matter?
CHARLIE
What do you mean?
GEORGE
Well either way we’re not both getting out of here, are we? Whether he’s the devil or just a man, he’s not going to let us off. (To JD) No offence.
JD
None taken. (To Charlie) But he’s right, either way…
CHARLIE
Will you shut the fuck up. You need to give us more time.
JD
I’m afraid I can’t.
CHARLIE
Why?! What difference does it make, huh?! Why would time have any meaning here?
JD
It doesn’t. But this is the time we’ve been given.
CHARLIE
By who?
JD
My employers.
CHARLIE
Who are?
JD
I cannot say.
CHARLIE
Tell me.
JD is silent.
CHARLIE
Tell me now!
JD
(Explosively) No!
George and Charlie are taken aback. JD readjusts himself.
JD
(Calmly) My apologies. That was unprofessional of me. I’m sorry gentlemen, but these are the rules. And rules must be followed. I fear that I’m distracting you by staying here so I will leave you to make your decision. I would advise you to be quick about it.
JD enters the cockpit.
CHARLIE
Hey, wait!
GEORGE
Let him go. We’re just wasting time.
CHARLIE
(Crying) This isn’t fair! I’m not supposed to die yet! This isn’t fair!
GEORGE
I know, but it is what it is. Everyone has their time and ours has come. There’s no point arguing over it.
CHARLIE
But how are we supposed to agree on who goes… wherever it is you go?
GEORGE
Well, I guess we do it based on how valuable our life was.
CHARLIE
What do you mean?
GEORGE
Well, who made more of an impact, I suppose. I’m a catholic – I think that should count for something.
CHARLIE
Oh, shut up. Earlier you said you “sort of, a bit” believed in God. And now you’re the fucking Pope!
GEORGE
It counts for something, doesn’t it?
CHARLIE
It counts for shit all. For all you know, I’m a Catholic too. You never asked.
GEORGE
Well, are you?
CHARLIE
It’s irrelevant. I could just lie to you. There’s nothing left to lose and everything to gain.
GEORGE
Good point. Well I suppose we’re both destined for Hell if we don’t figure this out.
CHARLIE
What line of work are you in?
GEORGE
Medicine. Why?
CHARLIE
Because it’s relevant.
GEORGE
Well, that’s probably worth more than robotics now. (Hesitantly) Isn’t it?
CHARLIE
What would you know about my work? And how do I know you’re not lying anyway?
GEORGE
Because, if you really must know… I’m a cancer researcher. My medical ID is in my coat if you want proof, as well as the stuff in my briefcase. There’s papers in there, journals. I’m one of the leading researchers in oncology.
CHARLIE
Well technically cancer isn’t cured yet, is it? Whereas robotics are getting better every year.
GEORGE
You can’t compare the two. My research alone has saved thousands of lives, and also…
CHARLIE
What?
GEORGE
There’s currently something we’re working on, but I can’t discuss it. It’s confidential.
CHARLIE
I think the time for confidence has passed, mate.
GEORGE
Fine. If you really must know. We’ve been working on proton beam therapy.
CHARLIE
I’ve heard of this. It’s experimental. There’s no evidence…
GEORGE
Well, that’s where you’re wrong. We’ve been working on it for some time now and we’ve finally had a breakthrough. We’re talking about a ninety-three percent success rate.
CHARLIE
That’s impossible.
GEORGE
It’s not, I assure you. We’re talking about a possible end to most cancers in the next ten years! But only if I continue the work. Without me, it won’t happen. Think of the cost to the world! With all due respect, that’s got to be worth more than robotics.
CHARLIE
Well, that’s where you’re wrong. You see, I haven’t been entirely truthful with you.
GEORGE
You don’t work in robotics?
CHARLIE
I do, but it’s a bit more advanced than you might think. You see, I too work in medicine.
GEORGE
You’re a doctor?
CHARLIE
Not exactly. I’m an engineer, and I’m developing robotic organs.
GEORGE
What are you talking about?
CHARLIE
I’m talking about doing away with organ transplants altogether. No more waiting lists, no more rejections or complications. Just robotic organs doing the same job. A better job, even.
GEORGE
But that’s impossible.
CHARLIE
Any more impossible than curing cancer?
George sits down and starts running his hands through his hair.
GEORGE
What do we do? Which one of us goes back?
CHARLIE
You got children?
GEORGE
Two daughters. They’re both adults now. You?
CHARLIE
A boy. But he’s only five.
George looks around the empty cabin and sheds a tear.
GEORGE
(Softly) You go.
CHARLIE
What?
GEORGE
You go. Your boy needs a dad.
CHARLIE
(Tearing up) You’re sure?
George nods.
CHARLIE
But what about your work?
George shrugs.
GEORGE
Hopefully my colleagues have enough to carry on with. It’ll be difficult without me, but not impossible. But it doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t separate a young boy from his father. I wouldn’t be able to live with it.
Charlie crouches in front of him.
CHARLIE
You’re a good man, George. I won’t forget this.
GEORGE
Just swear to me you’ll make the most of it, okay?
CHARLIE
I swear.
The two men shake hands. Charlie stands up and wipes away his tears.
CHARLIE
(To the cockpit) We’ve made a decision.
JD
(VO) Thank you gentlemen, and apologies again for the misunderstanding. Now if you could please take your seats and prepare yourselves.
Charlie sits down next to George and takes his hand.
CHARLIE
You ready, George?
GEORGE
I’m ready. Good luck with the rest of your life.
CHARLIE
Thank you.
The cockpit suddenly begins to fill with gas, and the two men look startled.
GEORGE
What’s happening?
CHARLIE
I don’t know. I…
The two of them fall unconscious.
Some time later, the gas has dissipated. JD walks back in and looks over the two men sleeping in their seats, and sighs. With him is another man, Milo, wearing grey overalls.
MILO
Which one did they choose?
JD
Mr Mason.
MILO
Sounds like the right choice. What with the kid and all.
JD
Mr Mason doesn’t have a son. His wife divorced him over a year ago, but Mr Norton never asked for proof so I suppose that’s on him.
MILO
Well, what do we do with him?
JD
Wipe Mr Mason’s memory and stick him on the next flight to Birmingham. He’ll go through to the next round.
MILO
And the other one?
JD
Stick him on the next flight to Manchester, and crash it.
MILO
What do you think the point of all this is? I get why they want them out of the way, but why make them choose? Why all the theatre? Why didn’t they just… y’know?
JD shrugs.
JD
It’s probably best not to think about it too much, but my guess is they find it more entertaining.
MILO
(Shaking his head) Strange…
(To JD) Well, you’re good. I’ll give you that. You made them believe it.
JD
That’s why they hired me.
MILO
But can I ask you something, sir? Just between you and me.
JD
Go on.
MILO
When that one tried to touch you, I could’ve sworn his hand went straight through you. Am I wrong?
JD
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
JD turns and walks out towards the plane door.
JD
Get Mr Mason on his plane, and then get home yourself.
MILO
Yes, sir.
Milo stands in the cabin, staring out the door worriedly as JD descends down the stairs onto an empty runway.
C R Strang 