‘Leah? Are you awake?’ 

Regrettably she was, and her head was throbbing as Adam gently shook her out of her doze. They’d been drinking the night before, all four of them, like proper grown-ups, and now she was paying the price for it. 

‘What time is it?’ she murmured to him, rubbing her eyes. 

‘Just gone seven,’ he said, and gave her a playful little slap on the cheek.

‘You dick,’ she groaned, shooing him away. ‘I’ve only been asleep four hours.’

‘Well, I’ve left it as late as I can, but if we don’t go now there’s no point.’ 

Leah vaguely remembered their conversation from the night before about getting up early to go fishing, but had assumed nothing would come of it. She should’ve known better when Adam was involved; once he had an idea in his head it was near-impossible to shake it loose. She felt herself drifting off to sleep again, when he said: 

‘Don’t make me slap you again.’ 

‘Piss off.’ 

‘Now, now. A promise is a promise.’ 

‘Have you even been to bed?’ 

‘Nah.’ 

‘Explains why you’re not hungover. It’ll hit you once we’re out there.’ 

‘Well, don’t you want to see that?’ 

She opened one eye sharply and looked at him. 

‘Give me five minutes,’ she said wryly. 

‘Don’t fall asleep again. Or I will slap you.’ 

‘Slap me, and I’ll kick you in the nuts.’ 

‘You’ll have to come downstairs for that.’ 

Leah heaved herself up slowly, and reached over for her inhaler on the night stand, taking a perfunctory puff to start the day. The problem was getting worse, she knew that, and so did her family. There was going to come a time when an inhaler wouldn’t be enough, and she wouldn’t be able to breathe on her own at all anymore. Doctor J had said as much, but was optimistic that they had time to solve her problem, whatever it was. 

It had started years ago, when she was thirteen. Living in Shuck Springs, you were considered weird if you didn’t swim. One of the town’s main attractions was the part of the lake the locals called “The Bucket”, a large pool with no lower bank, meaning that you plunged as soon as you stepped into it. In the summer, the kids would climb the trees surrounding it and jump into the cool waters below, much to their parents’ dismay. But there was no stopping them; once you “jumped the bucket” as they say, that’s all you wanted to do on a hot day. 

The only eerie thing about it was the fact you couldn’t see the bottom, so no one really knew for sure how deep it went. Divers had tried to work it out, but visibility was so poor down there that all they had were estimates. Every child in Shuck Springs had tried to be the first to touch the bottom, and Leah was no exception.

One day in particular, Leah had gone swimming alone with her brother Adam, when he dared her to try and reach the bottom. Eagerly, she dived down through the watery void until she could no longer see in front of her. But she kept going regardless, clawing through the murkiness until she started to struggle, knowing that she could hold her breath another minute at least. Leah went deeper, and deeper, until her ears started to pop and every movement felt exhausting. She slowed, wading through the silt and sand, and eventually came to a stop. Blackness surrounded her, and the pressure of the water had started to slowly crush her. She knew if she went any further she’d be in trouble, either by losing her direction and drowning, or causing permanent damage to her ears. She decided to surface then, but something in the depths of the waters caught her eye before she rose.

There was a glimmer, that was all, but it was coming from below and moving at speed. Leah stopped, paddling, conscious of her need for air, but transfixed by whatever it was that was moving below her. And then it disappeared; the glimmer went out and all was darkness once more. She folded her arms down and kicked herself upwards, knowing that if she didn’t go now then she’d run out of breath before she reached the surface. But as she rose, something took hold of her leg in the darkness and pulled. Leah panicked and thrashed in the darkness, screaming in jets of bubbles and foam, trying to kick free of the thing clutching at her ankle. Whatever it was, it was dragging her deeper and deeper, with unimaginable strength. She didn’t have time to think about what it was, not with her lungs burning and the water filling her stomach. She felt her strength finally leaving her, and her consciousness fading. There was a moment of calm serenity when her weakening mind had started to accept her fate, and that’s when the thing below her finally let go and whooshed past her in the water. Her body finally started to rise towards the surface, though she lost consciousness before she could reach it. 

The next thing she remembered was screaming back to life on the shore, every breath both agony and relief. Adam had dragged her from the water by himself, and sat panting beside her. Leah looked over at him and saw he was wearing clothes again, which were soaked right through, and wondered why. How did he have time to change when only moments ago he’d been swimming beside her? She put it out of her mind when she remembered that thing in the water, the thing that had tried and almost succeeded in killing her. She hadn’t managed to see it, but knew it was still down there, waiting for her. Leah rolled over on the shore, coughed up water, then laid back down, exhausted, and lost consciousness again. 

She wouldn’t go back to the bucket for over six years, and she never fancied swimming in it again. The breathing problems had come not long afterwards, damage presumably done by all the water inside her lungs. Some of the doctors initially feared a risk of long-drowning, which could happen days after exposure to the water, but in the end it wasn’t that simple. For a time, nothing seemed to help, so she was referred to a specialist, Dr John, who Leah would come to know affectionately as Dr J. He couldn’t cure the condition, but he seemed to know everything she was experiencing, and found ways of easing it at times. Occasionally, she was asked to stay in hospital for observation, as Dr J told her that her condition was unlike any other he had treated. But that didn’t mean it was untreatable, he assured her of that. 

It had been raining the day she came back from college, and for some reason Leah always found she could breathe a little better when it rained. The incident in the lake had happened years ago now, but she often dreamed of it, and her laboured breathing was a constant reminder. Adam picked her up from the station, stopped at the general store for a bottle of Schnapps, and then drove her to the house where their mom and dad were waiting for them. After dinner, her parents wanted to hear how the academic year was going, so Adam got out the Schnapps and quickly derailed the conversation, much to Leah’s relief.

Mom and Dad didn’t last too long; they were far from their formative years, and in another couple of rounds, Mom was likely to put on her Shirley Bassey records and embarrass them all with her renditions. So Dad helped her up to bed, and told the others to keep the noise down. 

‘And try not to stay up too late,’ he added. ‘Dr J might want to check in.’ 

They didn’t heed his advice however, and by the time the sun had started to rise, Adam had talked her into going fishing in the morning. His hangover started to take hold the second they got the boat out, and he looked miserable even on this beautiful summer’s morning in Shuck Springs. 

‘How’s your head?’ she teased him, poking him with the fishing net. 

He waved her away. ‘Shut up.’ 

The two of them sat in silence for a while, Adam with his rod out, nodding off at times, while Leah held the net for him. After an hour or so, nothing had taken the bait, and the whole lake seemed dead. Adam reeled in the line and sighed. 

‘There ain’t no fish here,’ he said. 

‘So you wanna go home?’ 

‘No, I wanna catch something. But we’re never gonna do that here.’ 

‘So where do we go?’ 

‘They usually head to where it’s cooler this time of year. We might have better luck down near the bucket.’ 

Leah’s heart sped up for a moment. 

‘The bucket?’ she asked, feeling the phantom grip of something at her heel.

‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘But I’ll understand if you’d rather not.’ 

‘No, it’s fine. It’s just I haven’t been there for years, Adam. I don’t want to be there long.’ 

‘Of course. We’ll need to be home soon anyway, or I’m gonna fall asleep. We’ll only be there an hour, or less if we catch something. That okay?’ 

She nodded, but she felt nervous. She reached for her inhaler and took a puff to settle herself. Adam turned the motor on and steered the boat towards the bucket. The journey wasn’t far to the water’s edge, where the rocks became craggy surrounding the gorge pool. They wouldn’t be able to take the boat into the bucket itself, as there wasn’t any embankment adequate enough, but fishing from the fells was always possible. As they docked nearby, Leah’s breathing became strained, and she reached for her inhaler again. 

‘We can go home if you want,’ Adam told her, but she refused. She was nervous, but she did honestly want to stay – the best times of her life had been right here with Adam, and she wanted to face her fear. 

They found a spot along the cliff wall which overlooked the bucket and dangled their rods over the edge as the mid-morning sun was finally upon them. Leah found her hands were shaking at first, but she loosened up as time went by. It was so beautiful and calm out here that it was almost impossible to feel uneasy. Adam and her sat there for a while, not talking, just enjoying the serenity of it. Leah stared across the surface of the water, and saw her reflection gazing back at her. She remembered being a child again, swimming in the water, and wondered whether that thing was still down there, if it was still waiting for her, if it would pull her down if again if she went back in.

She gazed deeper and deeper into her own eyes reflected back in the water, hypnotized by it, as if the image was calling to her, somehow smiling when Leah herself wasn’t. Adam said something to her then, but it sounded muffled as if he were speaking into water, and Leah couldn’t take her eyes away from her reflection so she ignored him, even when the fly on the end of his rod started bobbing in the water, causing ripples. The reflection of her had a glimmer in its eye, and Leah could no longer feel any part of her body. She might as well have been floating, hovering above the pool below, as the thing that looked like her in the water invited her in, to join her down below, to finish what they’d started all those years ago. Leah was completely stunned, and ready to surrender. Everything inside her mind told it was right to let go, to fall. 

Come, a voice said inside her mind – her voice, but not hers. Come into the water. Come home. 

Leah inched closer to the edge of the drop, following the voice, until she was right over the side and could see pretty much her whole body reflected back at her from below. Then she felt the wind at her back and let go, starting to fall, when… 

Adam’s hand pushed her back onto the grass, and she gasped. Then, a great crashing sound against the water startled them both, and they looked over the side to see that the first children of the day had come to make the plunge into the water. Leah looked around and suddenly remembered where she was, and saw that Adam was looking at her almost angrily.

‘What happened?’ she asked him, getting up. 

‘You nearly went over the side, Leah.’ 

‘I’m sorry, I wasn’t…’ 

‘You scared away my fish.’ 

‘Sorry, I’ll get you a new one from the store.’ 

Adam sighed, and eventually laughed. Leah had no recollection of what had just happened, and felt her hand make its habitual reach into her pocket for the inhaler. But after she had put it to her lips, the manual part of her mind took over, and lowered it. 

‘What’s wrong?’ Adam asked. ‘You empty?’ 

‘No, I… I guess I don’t need it.’ She sounded more surprised than he did. ‘I haven’t used it since we got here. I guess the air is good out here, huh?’ 

‘I guess so.’ Adam sounded pleased, but he also looked at her strangely then. Before she could ask him why, another kid cannonballed into the water not far from them, and then another, and any peace they’d found out here this morning had now gone completely. 

‘I’m tired as shit,’ Adam said. ‘Let’s go home, yeah?’ 

Adam looked like he was going to fall asleep behind the wheel once or twice on the ride home, but they made it back to the house in one piece. The moment they got to the door, Leah reached for her inhaler and definitely needed it this time, taking an extra puff just for good measure. When she lowered it, she realised that Adam was giving her that look again, but put it down to him being tired and overstimulated, so she let him go inside first. 

Their mother was sitting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper, and finishing what was likely already her second coffee of the day. 

‘You’re up early,’ she said as they came into the kitchen. ‘Have you been out?’ 

‘Went fishing,’ Adam told her. 

Their mother did a sarcastic look around their feet, as if looking for something.

‘Well, forgive my blindness,’ she said. ‘But I don’t see any fish.’ 

‘Had one, but this idiot scared it off.’

‘To be fair, I never saw any fish,’ Leah chimed in. ‘He could’ve had a boot on that line and still managed to let it get away.’ 

‘Well, a morning well-spent then,’ Mom said. ‘And here I was, wasting all my time sleeping like a baby. And now I’m too damn well-rested. I hate it when that happens.’ 

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Adam sighed, kicking off his shoes. ‘Well thanks for leaving me some, I’ll have that now if you don’t mind.’ 

Adam walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs to bed, while Leah poured herself some coffee. 

‘You’re not going to sleep?’ her mother asked her from behind her newspaper.

‘Nah,’ Leah replied. ‘I’m kinda wired now.’ 

‘Okay, well if you’re going to, do it soon. Dr J is coming by later.’ 

‘For what?’ 

‘Just a check-up. You’ve been away for a while, remember? He probably wants to see if your meds need changing or something.’ 

‘Okay. I don’t think it’ll help though.’ 

‘I know sweetie, but you never know. Some things take time to work out.’ 

‘I guess you’re right.’ 

‘Haven’t been wrong so far.’ 

Leah sat down near to her and Mrs Pudley caught a whiff of something. 

‘Oh darling, take a shower won’t you? You smell bad.’ 

‘Thanks, Mom.’ 

‘You know what I mean, dear. Just where did he take you in that boat of his?’ 

‘Just the lake. Although we did get out of the boat and fish at the bucket for a bit. Maybe I stepped in something over there.’ 

Mrs Pudley’s newspaper hit the table with a slap and a whoosh of air. Now she was looking at her like Adam had, uneasily, and Leah could feel her breathing start to struggle. ‘You went to the bucket?’ 

‘Yes, and I know what you’re thinking, but honestly I was fine.’ 

Mrs Pudley’s lip trembled slightly so she bit it, and forced a smile. 

‘That’s great, sweetie. I’m glad you’re okay. But let us know next time, yeah?’ 

‘I mean, we hadn’t planned on…’ 

‘Just let us know,’ she said a little snappily, but Leah nodded and Mrs Pudley smiled again. 

‘Anyway, I should take a shower,’ Leah said, and got up to leave when her throat started to close.

She took out her inhaler and puffed it multiple times, but it wouldn’t do anything except make her light-headed. She gripped onto the back of one of the dining chairs to steady herself, but her breathing was so tight that she was quickly losing consciousness. She could hear her mother’s voice then, but it was muffled just like Adam’s had been earlier, even when it turned to screams. The kitchen started spinning out of focus, and by the time her feet finally went from under her, there was nothing but a dark and watery void surrounding her.

She was in the lake, under the lake. Anchored in the blue calm of the water, nothing but the soft rising bubbles around her. Breathing. Floating. The other was with her too, the one like her but not from the same world. It looked like her, but its body was scaly and fish-like, with small claws webbed against her sides. But that face was human, and that face was hers. The two gazed at each other in the watery twilight for a time, both in awe of the other. The fish one’s claw reached across and took hold of Leah’s arm, but not to attack, just to feel. Like it was curious.

Leah awoke in her room in the dark, and sighed a gravelly sigh that stung her throat. She was not alone. Adam had been sitting at her side for the past two hours, and the man across the room had the unmistakable shape of Dr J. He smiled, and stroked his chin. 

‘Welcome back,’ he said so low it could be a whisper. ‘You had us worried for a moment.’ 

‘Dr J?’ Leah murmured, rising. 

‘I did say I was stopping by, and just as well I did. If I had come through that door just five minutes later, things might be very different right now.’ 

Adam rubbed her back as she sat up, and handed her a glass of water. She start sipping it immediately, and didn’t stop until the glass ran empty. She exhaled, satisfied, and saw that Adam and Dr J were looking at each other. 

‘What?’ she asked them. 

‘How’s your breathing?’ the doctor asked her. 

Now that she thought about it, the hoarseness in her throat had simmered down and she found that she was breathing just as normally as she had near the bucket. 

‘Good,’ she whispered. ‘What happened to me?’ 

‘That water Adam just got you was not from the tap, Leah,’ the doctor said. ‘I had him collect some of it while you were asleep. Don’t worry, I’ve sterilised it. But would you say you feel moderately better after drinking it?’ 

‘More than moderately, I reckon,’ she said, disbelievingly. 

Adam and the doctor looked at each other again, in a way that Leah was getting sick of. ‘

What’s going on?’ Leah asked both of them. 

The doctor exhaled deeply and smiled at her. 

‘Do you feel well enough to go downstairs?’ he asked. 

‘Yes.’ 

‘Good. Adam, help her up. I’ll get your parents.’ He looked at her with kind eyes. ‘It’s time we had a little chat.’ 

‘Mom’s not gonna like it,’ Adam told him. 

‘It’s time, Adam,’ Dr J said gravely. ‘It’s time.’ 

‘Tell me now, for god’s sake!’ Leah shooed Adam away from her. ‘You two are scaring me and you need to tell me what the fuck is going on now, or I swear to God…’ 

‘I’m sorry,’ the doctor told her. ‘But we haven’t been entirely truthful about your breathing problems. The thing is, nothing is actually physically wrong with you, Leah. But you are wrong in many other ways.’ 

‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean?’ 

‘She’s not wrong,’ Adam said. ‘She’s still my sister.’

The doctor continued. ‘What you’ve been experiencing, Leah, for all these years, is simply a form of drowning.’ 

Leah sunk back against the pillows, and looked at him curiously. 

‘Like long drowning?’ she asked him. ‘There’s still water in my lungs?’ 

‘No Leah, I said nothing physically was wrong with you, but you are drowning. Always drowning.’ 

‘What?’ 

‘Tell her, Adam.’ 

Leah looked at her brother, who was starting to cry. 

‘Do you remember when I pulled you out of the water?’ he asked her softly, to which she nodded. ‘That was a week after my sister drowned there. Her name was Leah too.’ 

She was trembling now. ‘What are you talking about? I am your sister.’ 

Adam slowly shook his head. ‘My sister drowned six years ago, but we never found her body. I went back to the lake every day to try and find her, and then one day you came out of the water. You were alive. Mom and Dad thought it was a miracle, but they didn’t want to admit the truth. Especially Mom. But I knew. You were different, and that’s why you can’t breathe on this side.’

‘What do you mean, this side?’ 

Adam looked over at the doctor, who took over. 

‘It’s difficult to explain,’ he said. ‘But the lake – well, the bucket more specifically – is a kind of doorway, and each side of it is sort of a mirror. Both sides look the same, but are a bit different. Running parallel.’ 

Leah scoffed, but couldn’t fight the feeling that this wasn’t a joke of some kind. 

‘On this side,’ the doctor went on, ‘you find it hard to breathe, because effectively what you’re breathing is more similar to water from your side.’ 

‘I don’t understand,’ Leah had started to tremble and cry. 

‘I’m afraid we don’t either. But what we do understand is that you can’t go on like this. Otherwise you’ll die.’ 

‘But if I were drowning, I’d surely be dead by now.’ 

‘Well, that’s another thing. We think time moves differently over here as well.’ 

‘I don’t understand.’ 

‘I’m afraid you don’t have time to understand, Leah. That water brought us some, but it’s not a long-term solution. You’re going to die if we don’t…’ He looked over at Adam. 

‘If you don’t, what?’ Leah asked in a whimper. 

‘If we don’t get you home.’ 

Adam and Dr J crept downstairs, supporting Leah as they did. Mr and Mrs Pudley were sitting in the kitchen, not saying anything. Her dad was the first one to look up and see her, rushing over and hugging her tightly. When he did, she felt her breath rasping again and knew the doctor had been right. Her mother remained where she was, shaking, like she already knew. 

‘The time has come for Leah to go home,’ Dr John said confidently, although sadly.

‘She’s not going anywhere!’ Mrs Pudley spat, slamming her fists on the table and making everyone jump. All except Dr John, who remained calm as he spoke to her. 

‘Mrs Pudley, we’ve been over this.’ 

‘Do you know he’s not an actual doctor, Leah?’ her mother said to her. ‘He’s from the government. He’s not who he says he is.’

‘I suppose he’s not the only one.’ Leah said, before breaking down. Her mother joined her, and soon enough all the Pudley’s were crying. 

‘I’m so sorry,’ Mrs Pudley told her. ‘We only wanted what was best for you. Please believe that.’ 

‘I know,’ Leah told her, but found she couldn’t speak anymore after that. Her breathing was so heavy now that each inhale was crippling, and she had to steady herself to remain up.

‘She needs to go now,’ Dr J said. 

‘She’s not going anywhere!’ Mrs Pudley screeched. ‘She’s my daughter!’ 

‘Alma, please,’ Mr Pudley begged her. ‘Look at what it’s doing to her.’ 

Mrs Pudley continued to cry and shake her head, but time was running out.

‘Adam, get the car,’ the doctor told him. 

Adam went over to the ceramic bowl where the keys were kept and fished around, finding nothing. It was no mystery who had moved them. 

‘Mom. The keys. Where are they?’ 

Mrs Pudley gripped onto Leah by the shoulders, and Leah could swear her fingers started to feel like claws as they dug into her skin. 

‘YOU’RE NOT TAKING HER!’ Mrs Pudley screamed at them. 

Mr Pudley took hold of his wife, and pulled her aside, but she fought and struggled against him, beating at his chest in her anguish. 

‘NO! NO! NO!’ 

‘Go Leah!’ her father said. ‘Go and live, my dear.’ 

‘Take my car,’ said Dr J, and tossed his keys to Adam. 

Leah tearfully broke herself away from her parents, but couldn’t say goodbye, not just because she couldn’t breathe, but because she couldn’t bring herself to. In her mind, it was a betrayal. These good people had lost their daughter six years ago, and now Leah was killing her all over again. Mrs Pudley screamed a terrible, inhuman scream and started struggling again when Adam took Leah by the hand and ran with her out of the back door to the doctor’s car. Outside, the last thing they heard was their mother wailing, and Leah felt like she was going to implode. 

Adam started the car and the two of them were silent until they came to the lake, although both were quietly sniffling. When they reached the bucket, Leah forced herself to speak through the pain, each syllable breathtaking agony. 

‘Why… didn’t… you… tell… me?’ 

‘I’m sorry,’ Adam told her. ‘But I couldn’t. I also lost my sister that day, and I wasn’t ready to lose her again.’ 

Leah leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, then forced herself to say one final word as she climbed out of the car. 

‘Good… bye.’ 

Leah stood for what felt like an eternity over the falls, staring into the waters below. This time her reflection was looking back at her sadly, as if knowing this was the end. In a way it was, she might get home and see her family again, but she would lose this one. The ones that she had been living with all these years. And Adam, he would not be the same as this one. If what they said about time passing differently here was true, then Adam would still be a boy, and all they had been through over the last six years would be gone, wiped clean. Things might even be worse in general over there, not just in Shuck Springs, but the world. Leah inhaled with the feeling of her lungs full of liquid, and realised that it was a risk she would just have to take. She took one last look at Adam sitting in the car, and then back out over the water, where some children were playing in the lake, and decided it was time. She hadn’t jumped the bucket since she was a girl, and hoped that she would stick the landing. 

Leah breathed out, her toes gripping the edge of the cliff, and jumped into the waters below. It was so cold at first she thought it might paralyse her, but she realised she could breathe again at last, maybe better than she ever had. She took a moment to savour the feeling of it, before swimming down towards the bottom of the lake. A thought occurred to her then; she really had been the first person in Shuck Springs to touch the bottom of the bucket. Leah moved like a fish through the water, as it became darker and darker, and the pressure started pushing against her body. Now it was harder to breathe, but it was still better than before, and she knew she was approaching the breech. 

Holding what air she had, Leah kicked herself forward and could see sunlight slowly emerging ahead of her and went hungrily towards it. Now she could only hope the breath she’d held would be enough to see her to the top, but it was so far and the surface wasn’t yet in sight. Leah began to panic, and felt herself fading out of consciousness. She gave a final kick with the strength that she had left and closed her eyes, telling herself that this might be the end. But then the air smacked her in the face and she took the deepest inhale she had ever taken, almost like a roar, as she surfaced at the top of the lake again. She doggy-paddled in the water, breathing normally now, but zapped of all energy and still far out from the land. 

Something was coming towards her in the water as she slipped below, and she knew she wouldn’t have any strength to fight it if it wanted her. But it was only a boy, and when he wrapped his arm across her torso she realised who it was. It was Adam, only he was younger now, and when she looked down at herself she realised to her horror that so was she. A nineteen-year-old mind shoved back into the body of a thirteen-year-old girl. Leah wanted to scream then, but she didn’t have the strength, so instead she merely wept as Adam dragged her back to shore. 

On the edge of the lake, Adam laid her down and sat beside her. 

‘Fucking hell, Leah,’ he panted. ‘I thought you had drowned.’ 

She said nothing, closing her eyes and continuing to weep. Then another voice called out to them, and Leah wanted to scream again. 

‘Hey, you kids okay?’ 

A young man wandered out from behind the trees, looking concerned. 

‘Yeah,’ Adam answered him, starting to shiver slightly. ‘She was under the water for a long time.’ 

Leah opened her eyes long enough to see the man hovering over her, then closed them again as he started to speak. 

‘Are you okay?’ he asked her, smiling. ‘It’s okay, I’m a doctor. My name’s Dr John, but you can call me Dr J.’